I am not a fan of Easter. Do not let the fact that I have an awesome bunny throw you off. Also, do not let the fact that I AM an awesome bunny throw you off. The very idea of Easter is what? To celebrate the return of our messiah by giving loads of candy and presents to kids? We also hide eggs. You know, things that MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE? And I know some of you are religious, and that’s fine, but let’s address the aspect about this day we are all thinking about. This was the day Jesus came back as a zombie. Granted, no one talks about that, and that’s fine, but if your aunt Hilda, who died three days ago, knocked on your door right now, your first impression wouldn’t be messiah. It would be “shit, aunt Hilda came back for our brains, so grab the shotgun.” Good thing the zombie legend was not well-known when Jesus rose from the grave looking to feast on human flesh, because that would have just worked everyone into a panic. Truth is, they called him a messiah before they realized he was a flesh-eating cadaver who had come back from the dead. So what next? Well, they killed him again. And this time he stayed dead. So what did they give us in his place to distract us.
Bunny’s.
So they killed our messiah (understandably) and they left us with the idea of tasty sweets and a big, anthropomorphic bunny who feels obligated to give kids candy on zombie Jesus day. All this only further works to cement my belief that we are living in a world run by fools. The only absentee guy I believe in is my landlord. I don’t see him, but I pay him every month so I know he exists. Outside of that, you cab take your invisible deities and tell them a hearty and warm hello from Remy. They probably think I don’t exist either, and the ironic circle of life continues.
Not like they will hear me, anyway. Things that don’t exist tend to have trouble hearing people.
Anyway, Happy Easter to those of you far less jaded and nihilist than I.
Oh, and one more of Rembunny for the road.
Suck on that, Santa.
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